another week gone by… not bad… not great… friday was invited to xp’s friend’s house party/gathering… jan got drunk… things happened.. maybe the part that i resented most was when she stared at me like i was her worst enemy.. or course in reality it was there were other things that were done that should be more upsetting… julian got ‘drunk’ 1st part then he managed to sleep it off before we all headed to clark quay.. all that aside it still wasn’t a bad week…
coming thursday is xpd’s b’day… there’s something planned but not much… well… sorta…
actually i’m glad i got something off my chest (even though it was in a really cowardly way – via sms), i think it was xpd’s drunken antics that really took the biscuit…
* got drunk at amro’s cos she thought she was challenged
* had to pick her out of his place cos they were leaving to clark quay, which she managed to say she’s game
* while xpd was trying to fit her stuff in her bag, she rested one hand on xp’s chest
* in the cab to clark quay she was yelling at xp, i turned to xp and told her to ignore xpd. xpd head butted my head and stared at me like i killed her parents. I ignored her, till she said “do you know why i’m doing that? it’s cos u told a person you know less then me to not bother about me”
* i wanted to tell he cab driver to send her home (while she could still walk by herself), but amro help get her out of the cab.
* they sat her down at a cafe and got her 2 coffees, 1 for her and the other for julian. xp asked if she wanted sugar, after the 2nd time xpd snapped ‘NO!’. after that xp turned to ask julian if he wanted sugar and xpd yelled again, “i said No, NO SUGAR!”
* we sat till they closed and amro said that there were seats in the club.
* managed to get to the club up a flight of stairs, julina looked after her while there was moderate dancing
* 3.30am time to leave, i don’t know why xpd always forgets this but i can’t stay out too late. anyway planned to bring her back to my place.
* she could not walk at all, we had to ask amro to stop flirting and help support her.
* reached the stairs and she simply could not walk, not even stand
* amro put her over his shoulder, just before he attempted his decent, the bouncer revealed the service lift, thank goodness~!!
* just moments before we reached the taxi stand xpd said she needed the loo, we went to the nearest loo and she went to the handicapped loo.
* good thing i made sure she couldn’t lock the door cos she was in there for 15 mins. i went in and she insisted to be left alone. wanted to go out and come back but at 3.45am, u’d got no time to spare
* amro was engaged in loud chatter with a new friend on the other side of the loo. jan repeatedly yelled for them to shut the f%*( up. annoyed i yelled back saying they’re not talking to her and that she should shut up.
* eventually we got out.
* i told julian i’m not bringing her back to my place, just gonna shove her into a cab. she heard this and started to stare again, at this point i really couldn’t be bothered any more.
* asked them to go to the taxi stand while i w/d some cash.
* went to the cab stand and asked if julian could her me send her home, he agreed, i’ve nvr been so relieved.
* she started staring at me again, i just gave her a once over and looked away, ignoring her, told julian i’m sitting in the front
* while q-ing she started crying
* our turn, merc cab…
* passed my jacket and tissue to the back.
* she cried briefly in the cab…
* reached her place at last~! her dad and bro were up though…
0952 J: okay, whatever stupid shit did i do again? Anyway whats the plan for today?
1056 n: e plan for today?! e plan is, Nikki will stay pissed off w YOU u can’t even rem NIKKI is ur friend and treat her like a friend jus cos ur drunk! O hell! even when ur sober you can’t rem things about me – like my family was broken by another woman?! U just flaunt your r/s in my face every x we meet. I am not that liberal tt i don’t have feelings. U should noe i’m NOT ok w u being the other woman. I’m gg to give you what might be the last fact & advise as a friend;
Fact in black and white – it is wrong to be w a married man, period.
Advice – Leave him cos it’s spoiling relationships & he treats you like shit. if you don’t care about his family’s r/s then urs & mine.
I’ve stuck with you on this cos i truely believed that you are a good person & will always do the right thing. Rem on e way to the retro party @ canning, i asked if you will eventually leave him? u rem ur ans? U’d better, cos that’s the reason y i treated u as my best friend right up 2 now. if you need tt extra push 2 leave him(though y’day u said ur giving urself 3 months) I’, giving you till 1 april 09 to leave him. If you don’t, i can’t do anything cos it’s still ur choice, but i cannot be w you on this journey. E reason i hvn said this b4 is cos i was afraid of losing you as a friend. But i realise if i don’t i will still lose a friend eventually. I trust you will do the same for me.
1112 J: n, pick up the phone please. i don’t want to lose you as a friend
1114 n: I’m still gonna be angry w u for about an hour.. Lets kr over late lunch then..
1120 J: please be angry. sometimes i don’t even know what the f^*& i am doing with my life. And seriously, i dunno what the hell i did last night but if i had done anything that implicates you, i am really sorry because i don’t mean it and i don’t know why the F^*& i did it. tell me if i had done things to huet you because maybe i would be too ashamed to meet you later.
1125 n: i don’t really feel like talking about last night.. Can we make like guys n forget about it? U kinda owe julian n amro a bit thank you though. Esp Julian. But i’m very serious about the part about you leaving that fella.
1130 J: no, i am F*&^ing Pissed with myself because it’s bad enough that this whole thing is hurting me. I have never wanted to hurt anyone esp you because u r probably the only one who will stand by me as someone despite of all these. If i had done anything to hurt u, i will never forgive myself. I never want to hurt u because u r probably the only person who makes me feel despite the shit i am in.
1137 n: The best thing you can do for everyone especially yourself is to leave him. You’re not a bad person and don’t deserve such an arse. The only reason why what you do hurts me is cos ur my friend. Oh, also conflict of values.
1151 J: n, whatever i had done, i am sorry.whatever shit i am in right now is not anyone else’s problem esp yours.perhaps you don’t tell me it’s better. all the possibilities of what i might have done is running through my head and that alone is killing me making me tear. My parents are back in the car and i have to pretend nothing happened and try to hide my sadness. And i have noone else to blame but myself. i am really sorry, nik
1216 n: don’t dwell on last night. I just don’t want to talk about it. What hurts/upsets me more is what you do when ur sober. So don’t dwell on the past and jus set ur life on track.
What you do affects others, you are not so insignificant and there are people who care for you immensely. So it’s not up to you to tell them what they should and should not be affected/hurt by.
1206 J: i am sorry. Very sorry. I was an arse.
1941 n: That’s alright, i noe you weren’t thinking. But you noe u just got to dump that man, he’s not good for you.
Thursday 7.30pm Hanabi ya? I’ve made reservations.